


The New Normal

by TheAncientWizard



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Multi, buffy is already dead, its sad, set between season 5 and 6
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23901436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheAncientWizard/pseuds/TheAncientWizard
Summary: Buffy has jumped onto the portal to hell and died, leaving the scoobies wondering what to do next. They try and carry on their lives without Buffy.
Relationships: Tara Maclay/Willow Rosenberg, Xander Harris/Anya Jenkins
Comments: 1
Kudos: 2





	The New Normal

Among the rubble, her body lay there empty and peaceful. For a minute they all just looked at her – their friend, their saviour, gone. “We shouldn’t leave her here.” Tara said meekly.

“She’s right. We sho-, we should move her.” Willow stuttered with tears running down her face, gripping her girlfriend to stop herself from screaming with grief.

“I’ll-.“ Spike started, looking up at her, trying to force the cries back. As soon as he started to speak, Giles cut him off, “No. It needs to be me, this is how it always ends, I want to do it.” He carried her body, her empty shell, to the roadside and carefully laid her down on the sidewalk, placing her head down last, protecting it. “All of you, go home. I’ll call an ambulance.”

“I can’t go home, I don’t want to be alone.” Dawn said, she was exhausted, tired of being awake, tired of crying.

“It’s okay Dawnie you can come with us.” Willow did not want Dawn to be alone, they needed to stick together more than ever.

They all, except Giles and Spike, turned to leave. “Spike, you should go, the sun is going to be up soon.”

“I don’t care, I want to stay by her side.” He choked up.

“No more death today, Buffy wouldn’t want that.” Xander turned around and said, taking pity on the poor huffed and walked behind the scoobies as Giles got his phone out to dial 911, Giles thought to himself, _it was never meant to be like this, I imagined this moment so many times, I thought I would be prepared for the pain. But… she isn’t just the slayer, she’s a daughter to me._

“Willow, did you tell Angel? Is he coming to the service?” Dawn asked, she wanted to see him again, she hated that he made her sister cry so much, but he had a way of making things less lonely.

“He said he was coming for the funeral, but he wouldn’t be staying for the wake.” Willow responded, “I still can’t reach Riley though, with his secret mission n’ all.”

Dawn was pleased that Riley wasn’t going, she liked him, but that was before he left without ever saying goodbye. She didn’t want him to show, all upset, pretending he cared about Buffy and herself just to leave again.

“Dad won’t be there will he?”

“I’m sorry Dawn, he won’t pick up.”

“That’s good, he shouldn’t be there. He left us.” Dawn said bitterly.

When the time finally came for the funeral, Dawn stood there, looking at her dress on her bed. She thought that she would never have to wear it again, she wanted to shred that thing, all it reminded her of was grief and pain and she hated it. _One more time,_ she told herself, _then I’ll never have to see it again._ After getting dressed she walked downstairs, Xander stood there in a black suit, with Anya beside him in a dress not dissimilar to her own. It felt real again, her whole family was gone, tears flooded her eyes, washing down her face.

“Look at my tough girl,” Xander said, engulfing her in a hug as she cried into his shoulder, “you’ll get through this.” He took her by the shoulders, pulling her away from him, “just hold my hand.”

“Okay.” Dawn answered, wiping away her tears with her right hand. Anya had dark circles under her puffy red eyes, Dawn knew from her Mom’s death that she wasn’t good with grief but she let out a little smile at her, warmth seemed to radiate from her making Dawn gave a smile back.

The funeral took place at dusk, so Angel could say goodbye. Once the small circle of friends and family were there, the priest started the usual speech, "In the Name of God, the merciful Father, we commit the body of Buffy Anne Summers to the peace of the grave." Willow zoned out from the speech, the priest’s lips were moving but all she could stare at was the casket, with Buffy inside, she wanted her back desperately, _the peace of the grave, if only that were the truth. She’s in hell, I know it and we all know it, she’s screaming at us, but her body can’t move._

Looking towards the crypt, Dawn wanted Spike to be there, the day before she had slipped an invite below the door, she wanted to see him but at the same time, perhaps it wasn’t a good idea for Spike and Angel to be here at once.

“…ashes to ashes, dust to dust: in sure and certain hope of the resurrection to eternal life through our Lord Jesus Christ” the priest ended with. It was getting dark now and the gravedigger began filling in the grave as soon as possible, he knew as well as everyone that Sunnydale is not the safest place when it becomes dark.

Angel turned to Willow, and she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly with tears pouring down her face. Angel did not cry, he just stood there and held Willow, with his arms around her torso, carefully trying not to crush the flowers in his left hand. She let him go, “thank you, she would have wanted you to be here.”

“I know.” He replied, looking at the mountain of earth piling on top of the casket.

Xander also approached Angel and shook his hand, they were not jealous of each other anymore, just sad. He approached Giles and placed a hand on his shoulder, Giles plastered a grin on his face, “I’m glad you came. She always did love you, and I know how much you loved her too.”

“It doesn’t feel right does it? I know this would happen eventually, but I just...”

“Every watcher must see their slayer die but however many times I imagined how it would happen, it doesn’t prepare you for it.”

“Take care of yourself, Rupert.” Angel said, sincerely.

And with that, he left.

The wake didn’t really seem like a wake. It was just the scoobies hanging around the Summers’ house with food nobody was eating. Giles had volunteered to stay over to take care of Dawn, but at some point, he would have to go home and leave Willow and Tara to it. Slowly, they all left, saying goodbye to Dawn and Giles, and went to their homes. Giles began to clear up and wrap up the untouched food to put in the refrigerator.

“If you need anything, just ask.” He told Dawn.

“I’m fine. I think I’m just going to go to bed.”

She stepped up the stairs and grabbed some pink pyjamas from her room and walked to the bathroom. A loose nail caught her arm, ripping her dress and breaking the skin. She saw the blood and touched it, _summers blood, just like Buffy’s,_ she thought, looking at the blood glistening on her fingertips. She kept squeezing the blood out of the cut, _this is Buffy’s blood, this is Buffy_. Dawn snapped out of it and looked at herself in the mirror, she looked a mess, she regarded. Dawn slipped on her pyjamas, washed her face and brushed her teeth before placing her funeral clothes back in her own room, all the while, in the hallway, watching the door to her older sister’s bedroom. _I’ll look for thirty seconds and leave_.

Stepping back into the hallway, the door seemed bigger, it felt like she would just walk in and Buffy would be there. Peacefully sleeping. Dawn pushed the door open with her fingers and stared at the neatly made bed in the dark. She could not help herself; _I just want to feel close to her, one last time._ She pulled up the duvet and climbed into Buffy’s bed, it smelt like her, it felt like her.

_“Buffy, I’m scared.” Dawn remembered, “there’s a monster in my room.”_

_“I know, it’s an ugly monster and it's greatest hits are ‘mom’ and ‘Buffy won’t let me play with Mr. Gordo’.” She could hear her giggling to herself._

_“Hey!”, she punched Buffy lightly on the arm, “Can I sleep in your bed tonight? I promise I’ll be quiet.”_

_“Sure, Dawnie, but don’t hog the covers or your monster will be like a Care Bear compared to me.” Buffy said, Dawn could remember her shuffling to the other side of the bed so she could climb in too._

The memory was painful, not just because she missed Buffy, but because she knew it did not happen. All the things she knew about Buffy, all the happy and not-so-happy memories, never happened. It hurt so much, loving someone for all your existence, but knowing that all you went through together, the little moments, fighting over who ate the last cookie or learning how to plait hair for the first time, it was all made up. Every night for a week, she remembered it, sneaking into Buffy’s room and sleeping in her bed.

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this last year and forgot about it. There's more but i'm not sure if i'll upload it.


End file.
